Life is not fair….
I’m real fortunate that these meds works, and make me better..
BUT, not as lucky as i would’ve been if i DIDN’T EVEN NEED THEM..
Like this guy– see i was stuck in the clinic for 6 years…but some guy who was there 2-3months to rest up – had actually scored a sick-pension from the insurance agency…BUT he was totally healthy – talk about scoring a JACKPOT… Me, i had to take strong neuroleptica-medicament, BUT HE he didn’t have to take any such medicines at all – and the guy actually inquired with doctor on getting Xanax, solely to use to get high on, naturally– WHAT A NERVE, if i WHO NEEDS IT, and would actually feel better than LIVING IN HELL, from them, doesn’t even get them – how does he figure he would get it!
He even told us how he had lied-away in his private letter to the social insurance agency.. ME, i was totally 100% honest in my letter… AND then people look on me all sideways because i live on that Wellfare, like i don’t deserve it– BUT, THAT GUY, no one even lift an eyebrow for – like he WHO SHOULDN’T HAVE IT, he can have it, and ME WHO SHOULD HAVE IT, i shouldn’t have it.. THAT, is one lucky guy
And it just goes to tell you, how unfair life is – “THERE’S NO JUSTICE IN LIFE” – Maybe they would start treating me neutral and nice, if i went out and raped a 5 year old boy/girl…maybe that’s what’s wrong with ME, why they despise me... Maybe that’s the way to gain their respect – to become like them perhaps i need to fuck kids–like a rite of passage to become a member of the Con. Maybe the worse, fucked up deed i make the more kind they are, maybe kill the child, too – like they do in their wars…the con with it’s hating ways – total injustice, inhuman condition–them just drowning in their own hate towards everything, becoming more and more pink and more and more dark in negativity and mediocrity; godless and joyless..
I was talking to Mijo.. And he brought up the fact that Jan-Åke, a pedophile we both shared the ward with, ward-99–did in fact, for the first part get Valium prescribed (eventho he didn’t seem to have any nervous disorders, like i have..), and for the second part also didn’t have to take any Neuroleptica..
Häggas, another old fox, that were also with us on 99, once told me Jan-åke had basically been out prowling with his car, stopped-short when he spotted a lone 7 year old girl by the road, dragged her in and fucked her, then dumped her in the ditch..
AND, what i found puzzling, was how they slipped me mickies, made “Oink oink” sounds walking past me, etc etc – BUT they could sit and joke around with Jan-Åke, and pad his back and treat HIM, THAT FUCKING SLIME, as a FRIEND! But ME, ooh no–im horrible..
Because lets face it – Jan-Åke had been carrying on a day-job,,so he were A-OK in their book..
Jan-Åke they could treat like a person – but ME, i was a creep… WHAT!!?? WTF is going on???
Swedes are such hypocrites.. Polishing a turd like that – but pouring acid over me!
There’s really no justice in life…