What i would like to say to any immigrant who has escaped war to come to Sweden, is: BUUU HUU!
I have been fighting a fucking war for 12 years – and it’s been a much tougher existence than merely being in a war zone, could ever be.
I’ve been fighting and struggling and crawling in blood, crying-blood – a WAR so gory, soo VILE and malicious chewing me up and spitting me out – THE SCARS ARE ALL ON THE INSIDE, how many INSIDE-SCARS do you get from being in a land of war!?
“Wounds are all i’m made of..”:
It’s a common opinion in Sweden, that people, refugees, coming from war should be pampered and handles delicately – but there’s no fucking limit to how much psychic war i have been going through for the last 15 years…
It’s literally been a FUCKING STRUGGLE, and the last 10 years it’s been from minute to minute – a bloody, horrific and VILE experience of total TERROR AND DISTRESS – i have been pounded hard so many time, MENTALLY, that it’s unbelievable that i’m still standing, it’s been a subtle terror, all perpetrated upon ME!
I have had to cry, inside, constantly, i have had to bear witness to quick journeys to the deepest chasm of HELL, and have had to struggle to get to the point of serenity– not ONCE, through all mental-hell and despair, panic attacks and psychosis and extreme anxiety, have i ever had the luxury to take a TRANQUILIZER, NOT ONCE…
But i would have to thank them for never, even once, hand me a Benzodiasepine – for who wants to get addicted to those..? But NEVER EVEN ONE TIME, to have that luxury, always a STRUGGLE – and all tormentors constantly chasing me, like horrible VAMPIRES – totally ANAL AND CRUEL MINDS AT WORK, to slowly break me – i have had to fight a struggle so much worse than being in a land of war, then traveling away and end up in Sweden – it’s been a slow torture, what i have been going through..
NO ONE CAN TRULY RELATE, to my life – everyone things they got a hardnock life, but please don’t make me laugh at your TINY PROBLEMS – for as far as i can see, i’m having REAL, BIG PROBLEMS– HUGE STRUGGLE..
I would rather have spent 6 years in a maximum security prison, being mentally alright – than the 6 years i spent in the CLINIC, BEING FUCKED UP, tormented in the mouth of madness – 6 years on Kumla, healthy would have been a FUCKING BREEZE, a DELIGHT, by comparison…
MY LIFE IS HELL, and it’s a SLOOOOOOOOW process to get the decent and good life back – THE STRUGGLE NEVER ENDS, only when i’m asleep– but, the first thing that greets me waking up, is SHIT, i never get to enjoy myself… I can’t even travel or go anywhere, i’m stuck inside a HELL..
A NEVER ENDING STRUGGLE: